ON DIVORCE, BILL & MELINDA GATES, AND THE FATE OF 20Y.O. MARRIAGES
Bill and Melinda Gates announce they are getting divorced https://t.co/yaI58inCWR pic.twitter.com/swBXkBj6AH — New York Post (@nypost) May 3, 2021
Three factors conspired to make the Bill and Melinda Gates divorce announcement so interesting for stickybeaks, but only one need concern us here.
Their wealth and fame are two apparent reasons for the attention, but what do the statistics say about older couples more generally and the fate of 20-year-old marriages?
The Gateses - he aged 65 and she aged 56 - had been married for 27 years. They have three kids. Apart from their net wealth of $130 billion, they might be a fairly ordinary family.
Having been wed for almost 25 years, with two sons and a somewhat more modest nest egg, I was concerned to hear the news.
Also, as an authorised celebrant who now marries couples, with all of us hoping for a lifetime of conjugal bliss, I need to know: How does your age and wealth influence the risk of being divorced?
Age-wise, the most significant risk of divorce in Australia, in terms of the largest proportion (43%), comes amongst those who have been married for nine years or less.
But the fastest-growing category for divorces are those who have been married for more than 20 years. It climbed from 20% of divorces in 1990 to 28% in 2010 and in 2017 was down only slightly to 27%.
The reasons given include changing social norms against remaining in unhappy marriages; less stigma about divorce; and some women’s increasing financial independence.
The figures also suggest more couples are waiting until their offspring are aged over 18 before starting proceedings.
To find out more, visit the Australian Bureau of Statistics and the Australian Institute of Family Studies.
I can’t help feeling there is something sadder, without judging any of the circumstances, about a later marriage divorce than an earlier one which didn’t work out.
The disappointments are always high but after more than 20 years together I’d hope couples might know enough about their partners and forgive more freely to persevere. Of course there might be violence, abuse and unfaithfulness to justify the split but you might say when it comes to marriage, I live in faith.
Some or none of this might apply to the Gates family, although a messy divorce might fill in some of the more salacious details. But does being rich increase your risk of divorce?
Here’s an Australian solicitor’s take on wealth and divorces, and as lawyers are one of the parties which benefit most from the tussle over assets they might know:
“In addition to maintaining a more expensive lifestyle, high-net-worth couples open themselves up to greater discrepancies over financial matters. If in one couple, one is a very high income earner, often the other spouse is not working. The underlying economic disparity is an issue.
“In addition, the high-income earner may have a job that requires travel and long hours, which can cause strain on the marriage.
“Interestingly, it’s during times when the economy is growing and incomes are rising that divorce is more likely, according to research.”
Figures from the US say there’s been a marked decline in divorce as couples wait longer to marry and tend to be more established and secure both financially and professionally.
This article says that money and education tend to protect couples against divorce and include the hotly-debated issue of how divorce rates are to blame for much inequality.
As the philanthropic Gates family have made clear, their kids will only enjoy a ‘modest’ inheritance as they intend to give most of it away. So maybe money had nothing to do with it.
In essence: being (comparatively) richer and older might help you as a cohort avoid the pains of divorce. But it may be cold comfort for individuals such as Bill Gates as this a highly emotional and not blandly statistical subject.
Any information is general advice, it does not take into account your individual circumstances, objectives, financial situation or needs.
