Surviving Divorce, Financially Speaking!
In a perfect world, a marriage would last a lifetime. Unfortunately, that is not the reality for nearly half the population according to ABS stats. 
I know from first hand experience that the emotional turmoil of a split can be extremely difficult but then having to unravel your finances with your partner can be just as devastating and time-consuming.
My marriage ended quite suddenly ten years ago and I quickly realised I would have to leave the marital home, a home I loved and had raised my children in.
My ex-husband is a smart man and his level head at the time of the split saved us both a lot of money. He suggested we try and work things out ourselves without bringing in lawyers except for sign-off on important documents. I found a lawyer and this is where a second piece of advice I received saved me thousands. Before the initial appointment with the lawyer (who was charging $350 an hour), I wrote down all the questions I had and this saved so much time during the appointment. My final legal bill? $2500. So much better than the tens of thousands I hear others have spent.
Fast forward to 2015 and my friend’s relationship ends. Let’s call her Vanessa. Vanessa was happily married for 20 years to Carl*. They had no children and life was good. One day Vanessa wakes up and Carl is gone. Vanessa is crushed and confused as to why he left. Was there someone else in his life? Turns our Carl had a gambling problem. He had gambled their life savings away and secretly borrowed money from Vanessa’s family and friends on the promise that they not tell her.
Now her husband has disappeared interstate, leaving her with a huge mortgage plus outstanding debts to creditors, family and friends.
Since this happened, Vanessa has been working non-stop to get her life back on track. She works 6-7 days a week taking extra shifts wherever she can get them. She is slowly repaying the debts but it has come at a huge emotional cost as well. Just the other day we had a hug after her Carl sent her a particularly vile text message. My wish for Vanessa is that she comes out of this whole horrible ordeal stronger both financially and spiritually.
I’m sure many of our members have been on a similar journey when it comes to relationship breakdown and I’d love you to share your stories below so others can gain from your experience.
IN THE MEANTIME, HERE ARE 3 TIPS:
1. Seek Counselling - Emotional and Financial
Your may not thing, you can afford financial advice but trust me, you need it now more than ever. Look for an independent, credited financial adviser. There’s no harm in asking friends for recommendations and stay local to your area as smaller, local businesses won’t charge what the big companies do.
It’s no secret that when we’re in emotional turmoil, we sometimes behave irrationally and do things that may not be in our best interest. Instead of wallowing in sadness or depression and possibly going out and spending money to compensate for these feelings, it’s important to give yourself some time to cope and come to terms with your divorce and how your life has changed. Don’t make any major financial purchases for 6-12 months unless you have to.
Write down all debts, sources of income and any other assets. Make sure to include any shared assets that you’re entitled to like Superannuation or shares.
2. Get a Credit Check
Being that you are newly divorced, your credit will play a major role in helping you move on with your life. It’s especially important you become aware of. The health of your credit report will often depend on the arrangements you had during your marriage, and whether you and your spouse were paying bills on time.
If you were a stay-at-home spouse or did not have any of the household finances in your name, this can greatly impact your credit. Make sure you know credit history so you can begin to take steps to improve it, if necessary.
3. Create a Single Budget
Research shows that women in particular fair worse financially after a divorce. Going from a double income to single can take your breath away. While this may be a difficult reality to face, it is important to be realistic in what you can and cannot afford now that you are single again. It’s also empowering as you realise that you can usually live on a lot less money than you think you can. Make sure you put some money away for an emergency.
This week on the Daily Drive show we spoke to Effie Zahos, the Editor of Money Magazine who talked us through how to access your Superannuation in an emergency. While creditors can’t touch your Super, they can get their hands on it if you withdraw it. It’s also subject to tax once removed from your fund.
